Dear Melysa,
I’m very sad that you won’t be on Flisted anymore. You & Miss Sabrina were the only reasons why I looked up the website. I actually wrote to you before. I’m the virgin that was into S&M. I took your advice and it was very helpful. Won’t be doing that stuff again. I’m kind of embarasseed to ask this question but, how do you masturbate? I’ve had friends tell me what to do and I’ve tried really hard but i just can’t get it right. Do you have any tips? Thanks for reading my plea for help. E-mail me back whenever you can. Hope the website gets as many views as Flisted.
Sincerely, LC
Dear LC,
Thank you for your kind words! But on to more pressing matters: female masturbation!
Not only does playing with one’s self feel good, but there are many health benefits from DIY sex, including: stress-reduction, eases symptoms of cramps and PMS, eases issue of sleep, lowers blood pressure, relieves headaches and muscle tension, and can help reduce cervical and urinary tract infections.
Enough about the benefits, how exactly do you carry out the act, you ask? The truth is there isn’t one correct way to do it, and masturbation techniques and rituals differ from woman to woman, but here are some tips on how to approach it.
Touch
Luckily for us, the average man and woman does not need anything other than their hands to pleasure themselves. It is important to remember than women can achieve orgasm via vaginal, clitoral, anal, or mental stimulation. That is to say, when you are using your fingers to pleasure yourself, it’s not always as simple or necessary to focus solely on one spot, say your clitoris.
To start, I would suggest finding a time of day when you are alone in your house and free of interruption until you get used to your techniques and develop your own ritual. Begin by lying on your bed and rubbing your pussy with your fingers over your panties. Some women get turned on by how the fabric feels being rubbed against their clit, and I would suggest a silky fabric, such as satin panties.
Meanwhile, it is important to factor in mental stimulation. Depending on what turns you on, whether it’s straight porn, lesbian porn, or watching “Twilight” on repeat, be sure to introduce whatever elements turn you on. While most women aren’t as open to disclose, recent research has discovered that one in three visitors to adult entertainment site (i.e., porn sites) is a woman. Whether or not you normally watch porn, you may want to consider introducing it during your masturbation sessions. It doesn’t have to be all the time, and it doesn’t have to be straight porn either, just whatever it is that turns you on.
As a matter of fact, it may not even be porn movies that turn you on. Maybe it’s a fantasy you have about engaging in sexual relations with your partner or a crush. The important thing here is to not only be physically aroused, but also mentally engaged in the act.
After rubbing yourself outside your panties for a while (which is up to your jurisdiction, how long or short you want it to be), begin rubbing your clit skin-to-skin using your fingers. Some women like to use a little bit of lubricant while playing with themselves, and this is solely up to you. Babeland’s water-based BabeLube is a good one to use, as it doesn’t feel too oily or thick.
When rubbing your clit, there are several techniques you can do with your finger. One option is to rub with your index finger on the head of your clit, rubbing in circles. And while it may not seem like much of a change to the naked eye, you might find that switching from rubbing in circle to moving your index finger as though your scratching yourself, moving it back and forth, will be a change your body will welcome.
As I previously stated, there is no right or wrong way for a female to masturbate. You can also use two fingers (your index and middle, presumably), or even go so far as to use the entire length of your fingers to massage your entire pussy area, not concentrating solely on your clit. While your clitoris may have 8,000 nerve ending on it, that’s not to say the rest of your pussy should be ignored. You wouldn’t want your partner to ignore it, would you? Similarly, it should be factored in when self love-making.
Toys
Aside from touching one’s self, you can also introduce adult toys into the mix when pleasuring one’s self, including toys such as dildos, vibrators, anal plugs, and clit stimulators. If you don’t feel comfortable purchasing any of these in-person at an adult store, there are a myriad of online toy stores that can deliver allowing to avoid an uncomfortable situation in-person.
If you do not have any toys as of yet and don’t know how you’ll react to using one, there are many toys available for little cost that will allow you the opportunity to explore your body without shelling out too much money. TheAdultToyShoppe.com sells ribbed dildos for as little as $12.99 and vibrators for $15.99.
When it comes to using toys, keep in mind that it’s not always about insertion, but can also be used to stimulate the clitoris, as well as anus. Ribbed dildos, for example, are a simple, yet pleasurable, toy that can be rubbed against the clitoris to maximize stimulation. When inserting a toy anally, it’s best to use a condom and remember not to insert it vaginally after it’s been used anally, as the transition from orifice to another can lead to a nasty UTI or yeast infection.
And while it may not be openly discussed by many females, many have at some point or another used unconventional objects that aren’t adult toys to pleasure themselves, such as cucumbers, carrots, and hair brush handles. Yes, cucumbers. Like I said, most women don’t admit to this, but I have certainly met my fair share of women who have admitted this, and have read multiple women and young adults admitting to it on sexuality forums.
When it comes to using nontraditional phallic objects for masturbatory purposes, it’s important to remember that they aren’t intended to be used this way. All objects must be washed with soap and water first, and using a condom over it is definitely advised. Because I have heard of teens using carrots, because they don’t have access to any adult toys, I feel I should also point out that a carrot is pointing, and can easily cut someone on the inside, and therefore I wouldn’t advise using one period.
Other
Another method of female masturbation is pleasuring one’s self with water, that is to say, faucets and shower heads. Although not a scientific poll by any means, I can say that this is the technique most of my female friends used to pleasure themselves with while growing up.
Turn on the water to a temperature that is not too hot, and not too cold, before lying down in the bathtub, clitoris under the faucet, and allow the water from the faucet to stimulate your clit. The same applies for use of a shower head, except one doesn’t have to lie down in the tub, but can stand, crouch, lay, whatever. Use the jet of water from the shower head to stimulate your clit.
b
When it comes to female masturbation, not everyone is a fan, but if it’s something your curious about, then it’s definitely worth exploring. Not only are there multiple health benefits, but masturbation is a safe way to pleasure yourself without risk becoming infected with an STD. Trial and error with masturbation will eventually give you a better sense of not only how to masturbate, but techniques and hot spots that you may one day choose to let your partner know about, so that he or she can pleasure you.
XOXO
Melysa
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